Thursday, August 14, 2008

Island

Some people are wondering why I haven't written a post in over two weeks. I've had something of an adventure recently, which I will describe in detail: Basically, I purchased a tropical island.
Located about 1500 kilometers off the Ecuadorian coast, I decided to buy this hunk of land because I wanted a place I could escape to. As I had purchased the island off a "Buy it Now" from eBay, I really didn't have a chance to find out too much about it -- the deal was too good to let someone else have. The item description detailed that it was a good sized island, warm throughout most of the year, and was secluded -- the perfect place for me to build a vacation home, as well as create a perfect utopian society.

The first chance I could, I secured passage aboard a cargo plane that happened to be flying nearby the island. With a little monetary persuasion I was able to get them to make a slight detour and fly directly over it, allowing me to safely parachute down. I landed on the southwest portion of the island, a beautiful beach that was under a large full moon -- I had arrived. I took out a large stake, and claimed the island as Isle of David. I made camp and slept.

The next morning came quickly and I was eager to begin my explorations. I made my way towards the center of the island: a supposedly dormant volcano. I macheted my way through the thick foliage, seeing birds and insects I had never seen before -- perhaps some that no one had ever seen before. It wasn't long before I started hearing noises that sounded vaguely human. I crept up towards the source of the noises, and suddenly froze. Before me was a medium sized native village, complete with tree houses and random nudity. There were indigenous people on this island -- something seller Sk8terBoi213 neglected to tell me. Before I could turn around and walk away, I was spotted. At this point I didn't know what to expect; Hollywood movies had taught me that this was probably a headhunting cannibalistic tribe. So I ran.

I was quickly subdued by the classic rope trap in the jungle trick, and was brought to the town center. It was then that I believe the natives caught sight of my Fossil watch that Sister had given me for a birthday many years ago; they hailed me a God.

Long story short, I became power hungry and abused my position as their "God" one too many times, and one night was bound, and dragged up the side of the volcano. I was tossed in as an intended sacrifice. Luckily for me, a prehistoric pterodactyl snatched me up before I was singed by the lava and flew me to safety, landing at Heathrow airport in London. I took a learjet back to Sea-Tac and settled back into my normal life, typing up a post for this blog.

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