How I Drove Fourteen Miles in Eight Hours and Forty Minutes

Or, SNOWMAGEDDON, 2010 !!! Events happened in real time. All entries have combined into this one super-post for correct chronological reading.
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8:02PM

Dear me, I've been on the road for an hour and a half and might be a mile away from my workplace. Radio is saying things like "thunder snow" incoming, as well as drivers calling in with their stories of being on the road for hours - just trying to get through Seattle. Luckily I filled my gas tank yesterday and am dressed warmly, otherwise I would have other troubles. Though chances are I will have to pee into a bottle before the night is over...

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8:38PM

I've gone about 0.3 miles in the last half hour. At this rate I should be home by early tomorrow evening. For people who are wondering, "doesn't David always bitch about people texting and driving?" I counter that this shouldn't really considered driving - a parking lot would be a more apt description.

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8:59PM

Triptometer at 60.3 -- 0.1 miles since last update.
Definitely just urinated in my car; a precarious balancing act, if I may say so. If I'm gonna be here might as well be a little comfortable. Good thing I keep a bottle of Purell in here. And if necessary, I have other empty bottles available before I need to resort to my Nalgene.

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9:32PM

Trip: 60.5
Three lanes of traffic taking up four lanes... Not sure how this started as the lane turtles are still visible, but I don't think this illegitimate alignment is hurting anything either. Just passed a guy helping someone else jump their car in the middle lanes. Three people have walked past me in the shoulder -- I still haven't reached the next exit after my work yet.

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9:59PM

Trip: 60.6
I've moved approximately 180 feet since last update. I'm starting to get a little worried because it's snowing more and not much movement by cars, meaning it's starting to stick. I voted against side streets initially because I thought it would be safer with less compacted snow/ice on the road, but with nearly half an inch coating I-5 the benefits are slowly being negated. Wind and snow seems to be increasing. More people leaving their cars and walking around, one lady in a Prius in the middle lane turned on her emergency blinkers, got out, and hopped the guardrail -- presumebly to pee. Wish I had thought of that., though I fear it's too cold for my preciouses.

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10:29PM

Trip: 60.7
After fifteen minutes of park, got to move a little. Prius lady has taken a second bathroom break, as has a handful of others. My latest advance has allowed me to see the horizon for the first time - a red sea of brakelights. Some small number of people seem to have turned their engines off -- not a good idea, and I'm sure that's what is resulted in the small pockets of people needed jump starts. KOMO 1000 has finally told us that there are spun out semitrucks blocking Interurban, but are close to being cleared off. Well see how legitimate that information is.

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11:12PM

Trip: 61.0
Wish I had my real camera, but maybe you can make out the sign: I'm one mile away from the first exit past my work; the first exit since I've gotten on the interstate. There are a rising number of abandoned vehicles on the shoulder. Thinking some more, I guess if you are running low on gas shutting off your engine might be the only recourse, at the risk of not being able to start your car again. Despite being on the same stretch of I-5 for about four and a half hours now, I'm actually not doing too badly. Since I like being prepared, I have a pound of almonds with me and more food in the back. I still have close to half a gallon of water in addition to all I've drank. If things get really ridiculous I have a flashlight, thermal blanket, and shovel at my disposal. Heaven's forbid I have to bust out the fire starting flint...

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11:23PM

There is about an inch of standing snow on I-5 now, and while it's still coming down sideways it is subsiding. A fireman just ran past my car, as he needed to part some lanes for the above firetruck to get through. There are firemen jogging down I-5... this might be classified as a real disaster. I haven't passed that sign from the previous post yet.

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11:35PM

Trip: still 61.0
An ambulance just made its way past me on the right, and what do I see? Assclown drivers trailing its path! Way to take advantage... On the bright side, I just reached the exit... sign. I could probably get off and take E. Marginal back to work in forty-five minutes. Tempting...

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11:48PM
DOT representative just said they have two lanes open. Still under the sign, hope to see these open lanes soon...

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Tuesday Nov. 23rd, 12:16 AM

Trip 61.1
Uh... I have not moved an inch since they said lanes had been cleared. The snow is officially ice now, and I'm wondering if I should take the exit (if I ever move from here) and try MLK to 900. I'm ready to fill another bottle, but I'm flanked by two semi cabs, and they'd be able to see everything. Everything.

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12:31AM
Trip: 61.4!
Movement! Slighly killed as KOMO 1000 just told me they might have reclosed all lanes to get tow trucks on scene. I'm at about six straight hours in my car, marking this the second longest stint I've ever spent continuously in transportation. Chances are I will not be going to work tomorrow.

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12:50AM

Trip: 61.6
I can see the exit to MLK... I'm going to go for it. I-5 south completely is blocked according to WSDOT due to ice. I'm going to take my chances with surface streets.

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1:13AM

Trip: 62.1
Finally on the offramp...

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1:18AM

Shiet, 900 has no movement... Unsure if I can even get on. I might have to be super adventerous and take super side streets. There's a good number of people driving way too fast past me... there is a layer of ice on the ground!

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1:25AM
Alright, still in same spot trying to get on 900. A Sound Transit bus is slipping backwards on the onramp... That's probably not helping... Well no, movement now. Gosh I hope this isn't a wrong decision...

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1:39AM

62.5.
Terrible decision. DOT says I-5 now has a few lanes open so hopefully that helps, but the problem now is that the lane to 900 is blocked by a stuck bus and semi-truck. That they were stopped leads me to believe at some point they were trying to merge to the I-5 lane, but are now cock blocking everyone. The lady in the SUV behind me just took her car over the median and pulled a U-ie. Seeing as how I'm fairly certain I would bottom out and end up in a really embarrassing position, I'm stuck waiting. The good news is I'm no worse off than if I had stayed on the interstate. Though now I'm unsure what the stuck bus and truck mean for me once the I-5 lane starts moving.

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2:00AM

Yep, that could have been me. Thirty feet down, and I can see traffic moving ahead -- albeit very slowly. Just passed 7.5 hours in my car. I've been in here longer than I was at work today.

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2:22AM

Trip: 62.9
So... Close...

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2:27AM
Jeezus, not sure if I'm driving or sliding. Better than I-5 though. Here comes the hills!

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2:52AM
67.0.
Survived 900 going about 7mph, and just took a minute and a half leak in an alley at Airport and Logan. Sorry, no picture. Next: Sunset!

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3:08AM

70.7
Victory! Home in eight hours and forty minutes. Never trying that again.

Thanks to everyone that voiced their concern and wished me well! I'm sure you guys had something to do with me getting home safe and sound.